Monday, July 11, 2011

Stop this train...

...I wanna get off! I'd like to call a T.O.. Just for a week or so, I'd like a self-directed time-out from all things drama and family. I wonder if it's as easy as saying 'sorry, don't talk to me right now, I'm on a self-imposed time-out. You can't bring me into the middle, you can't complain to me, you can't make your stuff my problem right now!' Maybe, just maybe that will work?

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago I had this notion that my family dealt with things differently. We dealt with things differently because when we were kids, we didn't have a lot, or really any interaction with our extended family outside of our very brief, yet obligatory yearly visits with our maternal Grandmother. They were terse, awkward visits that no one looked forward to and we all heaved huge sighs of relief when they were over. We all promised as we got older that we would do things differently. We would handle each other with love and respect and we would tell each other when we were upset rather than bottling things up and letting them colour our interactions with each other. Apparently, those were big words because now I want a TO from all things family!!

I love my family. I love my little family, and I love my BIG family too. I would do anything for any of them but recently haven't been feeling like the same is felt like the rest of the 'big' family. I think I'm gonna go Google, self-imposed time-outs and see what comes up!

Saturday, July 09, 2011

What's that smell?

Can you smell it? You must smell it, it can't just be me. Surely? I think it smells a little like...change. Yes, for certain that's exactly what that smells like! It's time.

For the last 3 years my life has been dedicated to my family. My boys have been my primary focus and I've been lucky to have had to opportunity to spend this time with them. But September is going to be here in the blink of an eye at which point my number 1 dude will be entering grade 1. Don't get me wrong, it's not that my number 2 dude doesn't need me, but he needs to be with others more. He needs to learn that there's a big world out there with more people than just me, number 1 dude and the daddy dude. So, that leads me to the question, when my dudes are all out doing stuff without me, what should I do??

So, back to my original question...can you smell that? What does it smell like to you?