Waves upon the sand...

***warning, this is a very sentimental post - Penelope, I blame you for this one...***

Every year for as long as I can possibly remember, the first two weeks of August meant the same thing. It meant my mom going out and buying tons and TONS of food (back when Knob Hill Farms was actually Knob Hill, there would be KH boxes packed with food in the kitchen and by the front door for an entire week leading up to this great adventure,) packing the car, truck, trailor or whatever we had at the time to the absolute limit and setting off on the approximately 2 hour drive to "the" cottage.

Now, it's not really our cottage, in that we don't own it, but for the first two weeks of August every year, cottage number 16 at Geneva Park on the Rama road has been our home. It's not a palace by any means, and trust me, if you don't like spiders, this is definitely not the place for you. Oh ya, and if having hot, running water in the same place as where you sleep is a necessity, than this really isn't your ideal oasis, but for me it's a quiet refuge. A place where the sunset is always spectacular and life just has a much slower pace. I grew up in this place and it holds many, many memories for my entire family. Some more painful than others, but I cherish them all.

Cottage 16 is actually one of the prime cottages - it's prime real estate in the cottage rental world! Not only do we have the most amazing view of the lake from our screened in front deck, but also have the kids Shire right across the road which is quite handy now that Alex is actually old enough to play in AND as if that weren't great enough, we have two communal washrooms that are within a 20 second jog of our front door! Did I forget to mention that part - ya, no bathrooms in the cottages either. The interior of the cottage has been the same for as long as I can remember.

The curtains on both the windows and covering the doorways to the bedrooms (yup, we are an open door kind of family when we're up there) have been the same for more than 20 years now but if we have our way, they will NOT be changed until the moths have eaten every last shred of them. You see, as with every other piece of furniture and every last mug in that place everything has a story. The curtains and "doors" were made by the woman who used to be in the cottage beside us - long time cottagers themselves, until she passed away about 10 years ago and we've never been able to look at them without thinking fondly of her.

The mugs which are stained and really quite ugly are all there because of swimming contests that were won on various years by the families who have mainly shared the cottage over the years. Although none of us are at the cottage at the same time, we all share the same love and kindred affection for the place, always leaving behind new little additions. Sometimes we'll leave some new puzzles and games or books. Some years we've bought new dishes or other kitchen gadgets. Trust me, you have to have rose coloured glasses on the first time that you go, but there is a magic about Geneva Park that once you've experienced it, you just have to keep going back.

One of my most favourite memories of the cottage now was one evening in 2002 - right before my wedding. I walked with my mom out to Fallen Rock - an area of the park that has the most amazing views of the sunset and has surprisingly alot of fallen rock slabs going straight into the water. We were sitting watching the sun slowly set out over the water in silence and I turned to look at her and noticed that she had tears running down her face. I held her hand quietly knowing that when she was ready she would tell me what was wrong. She wiped her tears away and then very quietly said how much sitting there with me reminded her of sitting with her Dad at their own cottage when she was a little girl. She said the two of them would sit on the dock together and not say a word to one another but would simply sit in silence and let the warm glow of the sun envelope them in one last warm hug before saying goodnight to the world for another day. My mom and I didn't always see eye to eye on a lot of stuff but one thing we did really well was be together in silence. Now, when I sit at Fallen Rock with my husband (and one day with bum bum once I trust that he won't leap of the ledge of rock into the water below) I feel her there with me and I remember that day and how nice it was to just be there, watching the sun go down and feeling her love without her saying a word.

I miss her a lot, but I know she's with me...

It's a wonderful day in the neighbourhood...

OK, so here I am, day number 1 of my vacation time (I call this officially day 1 because everybody else had yesterday off too!) Here's what I've so far been inspired to do. Have coffee, read blogs, read more blogs, have another coffee and then read a few more blogs. My husband tried to cut me off from the blog world last night - he said I am addicted and that he's feeling neglected. Can you believe that? This from the man who every morning when he wakes up rather than roll over in bed and whisper sweet nothings in my ear, he drags himself out of bed and comes out to the living room where he brings his little black side-kick to life and checks his
email. I mean come on, at least I'm sitting with him on the couch when I'm reading blogs - I'm not in the front room curled up reading a book, or out spending money on frivilous new belly tops (seriously, I never could have gotten away with a belly top even before I got pregnant and my tummy used to be pretty damn flat!) I even made it through an entire movie with him the other night - which I should explain is the family joke. I used to work for a large distribution house and got so used to watching the same movies over and over again that now, usually once the credits come on, I'm out like a light! I've seen more opening and closing credits than anyone out there!
When I was a kid growing up, I had teenaged angst. Who doesn't right? My mom didn't understand me, the boy I was in love with didn't want to have anything to do with me becasue of course I just wasn't cool enough and my parents didn't have the perfect, supportive relationship that I thought they should. Where did all of this outpouring of emotion get published? In my "secret diary" of course. Now, the funny thing is that it was this silly pink diary that said right on the front of it - "my diary". Not so secret really! My sister had the exact same one, so really, just how secret was it, I ask?
I wrote all kinds of things in there and I still occasionally will go back and read through the pages and realize with the knowing of a more seasoned person (and now mother too) that things really weren't so bad. As a matter of fact I had it pretty good comparitively, but as other bloggers have very recently written about, how do you really know how much you've grown and how far you've come if you don't have some kind of a record of where you've been?
This, my confessions page is my new "secret diary." It's the place where I want to share my thoughts and dreams because now, I like to hear the opinions and other stories of other moms and women. I'm at that point in my life where the sisterhood is really important. And knowing that there are other women out there that have been through similar situations and who can give me unbiased opinions is very comforting.

So, although I love CJ more than I will ever be able to express, having contact with the blogging world has become very important to me. So, this week will be not only about me having special time with the husband, but with my blogging world as well!

Tomorrow I'm going to the eye doctor - seriously, I don't think I can handle the excitement!!

My home and native land...

On this, our beautiful country's 139th birthday, I would like to take a few moments to reflect on the things that I absolutely LOVE about the place that I am lucky enough to call my home.

1) In our 10 provinces and 3 territories, none are exactly alike and all beautiful for their own reasons. On the West Coast, there is the amazing Pacific Ocean along with the breath-taking Rockie Mountains that seem to go on for ever and ever, and on the East Coast the beauty of the Atlantic seems to be more and more stunning with each piece of road travelled, it becomes more and more awe inspiring with every bend and rise in the road. Don't even get me started on all the provinces in-between - Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Quebec and then there's my favourtie....

2) Ontario - this is where I call home, this is where I roam, this is where I am constantly struggling to decide where it is I love the most. I ADORE Toronto and all it has to offer. The night life, the culture, the diversity, the excitement, the stink - who couldn't love that city? But then, there's the general area of Peterborough where I called home for so many years and still feel the most amazing sense of calm wash over me as I hop onto the 115 on my way to the farm. Or what about Bloomfield - home to the most amazing ice cream shop in the world ,Slickers Icecream! My sister and I discovered this amazing little place a few years ago on a quest to find the best cookies in the world and it turns out Bloomfield should really be famous for ice cream instead of cookies! Oh well and the Sand Banks are pretty impressive too and only about 10 minutes away from Bloomfield!

3)Health care - OK, I know that our system isn't perfect and there's so many things I would like to see changed about it, but I think we all take for granted the fact that we can go and see a doctor when we need one (I didn't say anything about whether or not it was a walk-in clinic doctor or one that actually knows who you are) and not have to shell out hundreds of dollars for them to tell us we have a flu bug and it will go away in a week or two. Again, I know it's not perfect, but it does without a doubt have some merits that I have experience first hand both through the birth of bum-bum and all of my mom's various treatments.

4) I can't believe that I've kept this until number 4, but I am so imensely thankful that I was able to stay home for an entire year with my wee man with the support of the Ontario government.
I can't even imagine how I would have coped if we did live anywhere else - although I don't know all of the facts, I know that many people in the states are only entitled to 3-months. I had a c-section so for me, I was only just starting to feel OK at the 3-month point so I can't even imagine having to go back to work so early. Plus, when I think of all the amazing milestones that I would have missed had I have had to go back to work early.

there are two final things that as a true and proud Canadian I can't imagine a list of this nature NOT containing

5) HOCKEY - I am a tried and true bud fan. I'm still holding out for the return of my beloved CuJo - I've still got his jersey hanging in the closet and it will come out again in support of his home-town return! Although my husband will tell you that I'm not really a fan, that I don't sit on the couch with him anymore to watch the games, but I love hockey. I love the thrill of the game and I love especially going to the games. And you know why? I love going to the games because I love standing in crowds at the ACC and listening to the beer-guzzling, hot-dog munching, air-horn blowing leafs fans standing together, hats over their hearts singing proudly all the things that Canadians hold near and dear. I want Toronto to take a lesson from Edmonton - now there's a town who knows how to sing our anthem!

6) Timmie's coffee - I don't think I need to say any more on that subject other than you know it's a Canadian icon and I LOVE THAT COFFEE!

Over the next few weeks I will be venturing into the states several times for work and what I can tell you is that I truly love visiting the US and travelling to different cities - I have a certain fascination for the way that things could be so different in a country so close by. However, it always hits me hardest when I land back at Pearson just how much I truly love this country and how lucky we truly are to be Canadian.

I want them to bring back the Molson ad - I AM CANADIAN!